Loved this

I have pulled together a preschool play group in our ward, mostly because now that Emily has arrived, it is much harder to take Small Paul to the park on my own. I am working on a field trip to the Skirball Cultural Center's Noah's Ark exhibit - a must see for little (and not so little) kids visiting Grandma Mathews. One of their temporary exhibits right now is called "Women hold up half of the sky" and it is all about empowering women around the world. It looks really interesting, but something that struck me were the remarks made by the President of the Skirball Center :

"During Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, hundreds of prayers are intoned. Among these ancient prayers, there is one that has always had special meaning for me. It takes place at the conclusion of the Day of Atonement. It is a prayer in which God is said to open the book of memories, and find there the fingerprints of every human being. The assumption is that in order for us to be listed in the book of memories, we must touch someone with good deeds. We are mandated to feed, clothe, heal, and counsel all who are destitute, struck down, impoverished, sick, young and old, men and women."

"There is much sorrow in this world, but there is also joy. Perhaps there is no joy greater or more glorious than having left our fingerprints by uplifting the downtrodden and the many strangers in our midst. We are commanded not to stand idle while our neighbors bleed. These are the teachings that have inspired the Skirball Cultural Center to produce the exhibition Women Hold Up Half the Sky."

"Fingerprints remain behind to stir our memories and keep us aware of the benediction to which our lives amount. It is my hope that the fingerprints we leave behind are powerhouses for good. For such power is meant to be everlasting."

—Uri D. Herscher
Founding President and CEO, Skirball Cultural Center

It may be just me, in my sick kid & husband induced level of exhaustion, but I think that is a beautiful message, and has inspired my next family home evening.

Would you like to meet her???

It's been almost two months since Emily danced into our lives.
She has added so much, that we didn't even know we were missing.
We all love her so much and our home is filled with her sweet little spirit.




She's an excellent sleeper, thank goodness, just the occasional monkey noise during the night. I can only assume she is dreaming, but of what?





Everyone is enjoying her, especially now that she smiles and is trying to laugh.
She is really peaceful and mellow, we hardly ever hear her cry. She is very curious about what all of the kids are doing, and likes it when the girls hold her.




Amazingly enough, a big surprise... curly hair!!! She makes up for quantity by having overcome the super straight Mathews' hair gene. Emily may not look like me, but I did manage to leave my genetic mark on her after all!



Seriously, how cute is this little pouty face?

Emily & Paul like to play the "tounge game" every day. Paul sticks his tounge out, Emily smiles and sticks her tounge out right back at him. He sticks his out again & she tries to laugh. Anytime Paul holds her now she assumes this is what they will be doing.

I am totally in love, once again. Becoming a parent fills your heart with so much love, it doesn't matter if it is your first, or in this case, your seventh. Welcome to the family Emily Elizabeth, we are so glad you are here!

Hooray, she is here!

Well, I am so excited to be sitting in a hospital room tonight holding my sweet, beautiful, and sleepy baby girl! I will post pics soon, but right now she looks like Small Paul did at about a month, which makes sense since she stayed in a month longer than he did, for which I have already forgiven her. Her hair is as dark as Reagan's though, which is a surprise, but fun, because she has kind of a lot of hair...

Getting her here wasn't too tough (I may have said something different yesterday). She wasn't coming on her own so I was induced yesterday afternoon. The pitocin didn't do much so my midwife broke my water, which was a game changer for awhile. After I got stuck for a few hours and was getting tired, I agreed to an epideral in hopes that it would help me to relax a bit. I had one last time and not only did it hurt going in, it didn't work very well :(. This time was different, thankfully! It didn't hurt, numbed me nicely, but made me throw up as soon as it went in, which was sad. After I threw up for a bit I was able to sleep, which was nice! I napped for about 45 minutes and woke up throwing up really hard. I startled Paul who had been sleeping, and he knocked something over, making a big bang! I told him the baby was crowning, but he didn't believe me. The nurse came in because she heard the commotion, I told her the baby was coming out, she moved my blanket and sure enough, Emily was out all the way to her tummy, the nurse turned to grab gloves and Emily slipped out the rest of the way! Paul believed me then!

So, our very special girl, was born in a special way, on a special day, 11/11/11! Not only will she get to take her birthday off from school because of Veteran's day, her Daddy will be home from work for the holiday too. The kids are excited that Harry Potter 7 part 2 was released on DVD on her birthday too. I'm just glad she is here, safe, sound, and healthy in my arms and in our family!

Dear Emily...

Please come out, soon. I've enjoyed feeling you dance around inside of me. Your Daddy has enjoyed feeling you kick, toss and turn, and hiccup. I think it is time for us to meet. I think you agree because I have gotten the "this is it" feeling when I have been slammed with contractions every 2 1/2 minutes for several hours, but then you seem to change your mind. Is it because you hear all of the kids and their insanity and it scares you? Is it because of Rusty's horrid habit of barking All. The. Time? Is it my need to blast the stereo and sing along when I'm in the car? Whatever it is that is holding you back, we can work through it, but first you need to get here. We are nice, the rest of the family is awesome too, and your Daddy doesn't know how to say "no" to anyone, which may help explain the insane behavior from the kids, and Rusty. Anyways, think about it. Today is a good day to be born...

Introducing Zed...

This is Zed. No, he is not a mouse, he is a sugar glider. We did not have a sugar glider before, so we needed him. He is very sweet, and it is lots of fun watching him play. We love him!

A tragic accident...

We have a woman in out stake who is a lot like the rest of us moms try to be. A stay at home, busy mom of 5 kids, all under the age of 10, busy with church callings, cub scouts, play dates etc...

Thursday, while leaving her home with 3 of her kids, and 3 others who were over for a play date, the dog came running out of the garage. She hopped out of the van to grab the dog, but the van started rolling. While desperately trying to stop the van, she tripped and was run over. It took quite awhile for help to arrive, and during this time the kids had exited the van to see what had happened to their mom, with one of them screaming "Mom wake up!". It has been touch and go, with much fasting & praying over the past few days as her family members arrived from Utah.

This evening she was declared brain dead and passed away. I cannot imagine her young husbands pain, losing his companion at the age of 33, or how he is going to explain this to their kids. Her poor parents, what pain can be worse than losing a child? Her youngest children never had the chance to experience what life had to offer with her as their mommy.

I am grateful for the knowledge that they will all be reunited one day, but my heart is breaking for everyone who knew and loved her.

I am grateful for every moment I have to spend with my kids, and my husband. They are everything to me.

Other mothers

I don't talk about my family or childhood. I am aware that doing so raises eyebrows and curiousities, and while that is not my intention, I just don't go there. I have several "other mothers" who came into my life here & there and I learned good and bad things from them. My parenting is a mish-mosh of all of these other mothers, with my own insanity blended in.

My first unofficial foster mom stayed in my life longer than any of the official ones (state licensed homes with placement by DCFS aka Gabriel). This mom was a bit quirky, and sadly I have grown apart from the family more and more over the past 5 years or so. This mom was one however, that would have still welcomed the kids & I unannounced on any day, or at any holiday event. She was a mom that never once told me things that hurt me, but instead let me know she thought I was smart, strong, and encouraged my independent spirit. She counted my kids among her grandchildren, and their portraits were proudly displayed among the rest leaving hardly any open space on the shelves and cabinets in her home.

Because of this mom, Michael has memories of big Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve celebrations filled with laughter and cousins. Through the years, as Michael became more aware of the chaos and drama that this family seem to thrive upon, (think Jerry Springer) his recounted memories have been peppered with many stories that start with "Oh my gosh, there was this one time..." and end with "...it was completely insane". This is how the family was, and she wore the matriachal crown with pride.

Thursday evening, she fell. She seemed ok, but fell several more times throughout the early morning hours until she blacked out around 4 am. Her boyfriend took her to the hospital and while they were trying to get an arterial line in, her heart stopped. They were able to revive her, but only to put her on life support. As the biological kids, foster kids (I wasn't the only one), and grown up grandchildren gathered you could feel the love in the room. Once everyone who could get there had arrived, they disconnected the ventilator and it was done.

She was only 64, not a very long life at all. Her husband passed away 6 years ago this September, and I know she has missed him. She had a son who had died within a few days of his birth who would have been about a year older than I am. She has waited my whole lifetime to hold that baby boy. What a great reunion that will be.

I am grateful to Sharon, and all of my other mothers along the way from whom I have learned so much, and continue to learn today. I am also so very grateful for the knowledge that this isn't the end, and that families can be reunited for eternity. I am so excited to start taking the temple prep classes so that Paul & I will be able to be sealed to each other, and Small Paul, and one day Reagan. I am so grateful for the Mathews family, and so proud to be one of them.