Other mothers

I don't talk about my family or childhood. I am aware that doing so raises eyebrows and curiousities, and while that is not my intention, I just don't go there. I have several "other mothers" who came into my life here & there and I learned good and bad things from them. My parenting is a mish-mosh of all of these other mothers, with my own insanity blended in.

My first unofficial foster mom stayed in my life longer than any of the official ones (state licensed homes with placement by DCFS aka Gabriel). This mom was a bit quirky, and sadly I have grown apart from the family more and more over the past 5 years or so. This mom was one however, that would have still welcomed the kids & I unannounced on any day, or at any holiday event. She was a mom that never once told me things that hurt me, but instead let me know she thought I was smart, strong, and encouraged my independent spirit. She counted my kids among her grandchildren, and their portraits were proudly displayed among the rest leaving hardly any open space on the shelves and cabinets in her home.

Because of this mom, Michael has memories of big Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve celebrations filled with laughter and cousins. Through the years, as Michael became more aware of the chaos and drama that this family seem to thrive upon, (think Jerry Springer) his recounted memories have been peppered with many stories that start with "Oh my gosh, there was this one time..." and end with "...it was completely insane". This is how the family was, and she wore the matriachal crown with pride.

Thursday evening, she fell. She seemed ok, but fell several more times throughout the early morning hours until she blacked out around 4 am. Her boyfriend took her to the hospital and while they were trying to get an arterial line in, her heart stopped. They were able to revive her, but only to put her on life support. As the biological kids, foster kids (I wasn't the only one), and grown up grandchildren gathered you could feel the love in the room. Once everyone who could get there had arrived, they disconnected the ventilator and it was done.

She was only 64, not a very long life at all. Her husband passed away 6 years ago this September, and I know she has missed him. She had a son who had died within a few days of his birth who would have been about a year older than I am. She has waited my whole lifetime to hold that baby boy. What a great reunion that will be.

I am grateful to Sharon, and all of my other mothers along the way from whom I have learned so much, and continue to learn today. I am also so very grateful for the knowledge that this isn't the end, and that families can be reunited for eternity. I am so excited to start taking the temple prep classes so that Paul & I will be able to be sealed to each other, and Small Paul, and one day Reagan. I am so grateful for the Mathews family, and so proud to be one of them.